Apparently I am some sort of resident ‘sexpert’ because my previous job at MAXIM Magazine turned me into a southern Carrie Bradshaw type columnist, and got me thrown on MAXIM Radio when it was still on the air. The producers had me on to grill me on women, and to give men some pointers on how to score an NFL cheerleader type of woman. Here’s a transcript of the radio interview…
What is the biggest misconception men have about women?
That we have brains … and we actually prefer for you to notice it before our boobs and butt (pretend to at least).
Also, that we’re not as sexual as they are. A lot of us are closet nymphomaniacs waiting to be unleashed. Ever notice how sex stores are prominently directed towards women’s needs? Just saying …
What is the biggest true stereotype men have about women?
That women can be conniving….
I am female friendly, but I have only a handful of girlfriends that I consider true friends, or that I can be around for more than a few hours. Why? Because I can’t handle all the drama…a lot of girls tend to constantly be in battle, stabbing other women in the back and taking their vaginal insecurities out on any woman who poses a threat to them. Not to mention a bulk of this genre of shallow women are professional gold diggers who majored in “Rich Husbands” in school and will discount a good man for not having a big enough bank account. Granted, some men chase money because a lot of women chase men with money, but I feel bad for guys in search of women with substance… because I am having a hard enough time finding girlfriends of substance.
My theory is: girls compete with each other, while women on the other hand, encourage one another. If you are with a girl that doesn’t have very many girl-friends, that’s a sign!
Under what circumstances should a woman pay on a date?
When it’s a platonic friendship outing or after she’s been dating him for a certain period of time — like, when you have joint bank accounts. I am a strong independent woman, but I am also a southern girl, so I see it as encompassed within chivalry. If a guy is trying to get to know me (or pretend to want to get to know me in a covert operation to get into my pants) then dinner is a means of buying my time to listen to the sales pitch. Don’t get me wrong, I will thank him profusely for my meal, and if he’s lucky I will pay him back by cooking a homemade dinner. And which after that point, I guess it’s fair game and anybody’s ball … or check rather.
What is your biggest deal breaker?
A guy that acts entitled. There is no conversation more boring than when a guy goes off about how much he has and who all he knows. First of all, we know you’re overcompensating for your lack of morals and personality. And the man who truly has a lot, doesn’t need to boast about it. Be humble, or you will be humbled (starting with being rejected).
What are your three biggest turn-ons?
1. When a guy compliments something about me that doesn’t have to do with my looks… “your personality is sexy”….”you’re eclectic”…. “I like the way you carry yourself”…
NOTE (and this might be the best piece of advice I can ever share with you guys in regards to picking up chicks): Pretty girls want to hear they’re smart, and smart girls want to hear they’re pretty!
2. A guy who is confident enough to be different, and to put me in my place (when I need it, not just when he wants to).
3. For some reason I find it really sexy when a guy eats sunflower seeds.
What’s your coolest hidden talent?
I can dance like a stripper. NFL cheerleading aside, I’ve even taught a cardio striptease class at the gym. But those are skills I keep behind closed doors and far from any stage! Ha
What would we be surprised to learn about you?
I am a serious dork… I graduated Cum Laude from Virginia Tech in the top 10% of my class and I have more books than I do shoes.
