If men are from Mars, and women are from Venus – in sports terms, Men are American football, and women are European futbol. Very, very different. Well here’s some advice to help you with game plans on the foreign field, from a girl who acts like one of the boys.

Dear Flash Girl,

So I got my wife a dog to try to stall her from wanting kids, and now she lets the dog sleep in the bed with us and cuddles with him instead. Not that I’m jealous of our dog, but now we’re fighting about it because I think dogs belong outside in a doghouse, NOT in the bed. How do I stop this before I end up sleeping on the couch?

Signed,

Man trying to avoid being in the doghouse

Good question, bad dilemma.

You’re talking to the wrong woman though, because my dog not only sleeps in the bed with me, she isn’t content unless she’s curled up close to me. I even actually asked my last boyfriend what his policy is about dogs in the bed; he said he was okay with it, and I said I’d be his girlfriend. Seriously…

And since I get up so early to get to the studio for the morning show, this is what happens when I try to wake up my dog to take her out – she gets up and then crawls into my spot in the bed, gives me a look like “I’m not moving” and proceeds to go back to sleep. I blame her not.

…this is the kind of stuff that makes women go Ooohhhh and Awwwww – don’t take that away from her! She might think your love of UFC fighting is gross, but I bet she doesn’t make you keep it off your T.V., does she?

Meanwhile, my good friend who moved to another state for a guy ended up breaking up with him all stemming back to the issue that he made her pit bull stay outside and wouldn’t let her on the furniture, at all, let alone sleep in the bed as she’d been doing for the 5 years she’s had her. Like you said, a dog is a supplement for a child, thus we treat them like our fur-baby offspring.

But if this is your biggest complaint about your wife, you’re not so bad off.

Now if it’s affecting your sex life, then that’s a problem and any woman would understand keeping the dog out of the room all together for mommy-daddy play time.

Why not compromise and just demand the dog stay at the foot of the bed and above the covers. Or go out and buy a nice dog bed to put beside the bed and hope the dog prefers it.

Otherwise, just scoot over and share your covers…and get used to it because when kids come you’ll be sharing the bed and your wife even more.

Let’s take a poll…