The ‘Perturbed Panther PSL Owners Federation’ Giving Forrest Gump A Bad Name
By Ted Fleming
It was signed the Perturbed Panther PSL Owners Federation. Presuming the word “owners” means there is more than one member of the PPPOF or the lengthier PPPSLOF, where did they come from, when were they organized and just how do you pronounce that acronym? Are we allowed to just use a Reader’s Digest version and simply say pffft?
The urban dictionary defines pffft as a sound one makes when someone else says something really stupid. It also has something to do with the release of gas, but for the sake of keeping this as close to being on topic as possible, we seemed to have crossed over into not the Twilight Zone, but Forrest Gump territory – stupid is as stupid does.
The so-called open letter to Panthers’ owner Jerry Richardson via the pages of the Monday edition of the Charlotte Observer was ill-timed. It comes a day after the team nailed down its first winning streak of the season. They shocked the Falcons a week ago and embarrassed the Chargers on Sunday, two games most of the pundits said they would lose.
The stupidity even goes beyond the printed word, because it comes from this unnamed group of “business folks.” Not business men and women, but folks. If this is a true representation of the Charlotte business community, then Mayor Anthony Foxx will have to be concerned about the people he has to deal with when it comes to the affairs of the city.
Whatever legitimate gripes pffft might have had, they lost it due to its delivery, which was shrouded in anonymity. Anyone with a reasonable vocabulary and at least a working knowledge of recent Panthers’ history could have put this together. The only difference between a message board and this manifesto is that the letter had a price tag. Could this be the work of one individual, rather than a group? Did he/she lack the necessary funds to have it published until now?
As if things could not get more interesting with pffft, The Mac Attack was contacted with this opening: “It seems some media outlets are more interested in the names of the many dissatisfied and demoralized fans in Panther country, or the cost of the ad itself, rather than in the heart and soul of our message.”
How nice. And we are expected to believe this is not some sort of publicity stunt to get 15 seconds of fame? This additional anonymous prattle is probably giving Jerry Richardson a huge chuckle, but all it is doing is diverting everyone’s attention away from what matters most: The Panthers are playing some pretty good football.
Look, Panthers’ fans are upset. We get it. We also look at the standings and wonder what happened to this promising season. But there are other teams in far worse shape, some who haven’t sniffed a Super Bowl since forever. The Panthers have had more valleys than peaks, and they have a right to gripe, but this is not the way to do it.
This group of “business folks” is to be ignored until someone, anyone steps forward. Then again, if this is a group of individuals, you can bet there will eventually be a break in the ranks. Just think of it, a book titled “PFFFT,” then “PFFFT the Movie.” Who will star as the man behind the keyboard, Julian Assange? It would be fitting because it was a group called Anonymous that once supported him.
Ah, can’t you smell a best-selling fiction to get this rolling?
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Ted Fleming is a freelance writer covering all things Carolina Panthers. His work can be found on Examiner.com.