Maybe you can help me with my dilemma. Do you have any advice on dating the “hot bartender/waitress”? Because she’s probably heard every line in the book, I need to know how to stand out from the dozens of guys that hit on her every weekend. I’m not nocturnal, so my opportunities to visit the bar may be limited.
Treymayne from Charlotte
So you like the bartender, do you T-Pain?
The fact you’re not a bar star will work to your advantage. If she’s a good girl bartending her way through school or for some reason other than feeding her habit and being a professional partier, then she’s likely professional and responsible even at the bar, being sober and having to deal with drunks and guys spitting lines at her like you said. And she doesn’t want to play where she works, or crap where she eats, however you want to say it. Besides, at the bar (a.k.a her place of employment) she is going to be nice to you because she works for tips, and you don’t want to misconstrue good customer service with flirting. Find out what she likes to do when she’s not working … make casual conversation with her about it without being creepy and find a way to get her into that environment. Because honestly, no girl wants to meet a guy at a bar, especially if she works there. Things to consider if you’re going to ask her out: since she’s in the service industry she typically has Mondays off and she probably likes to sleep in and eat late brunches on the weekends. Also, if you want to get some one-on-one time with her, go to the bar around 7:30-9:30 — after happy hour, but before it gets crowded. You’ll stand out to her then, and that way you don’t have to stay up past your bedtime either.
And if it doesn’t work out, oh well … her work hours suck and are opposite of yours anyway. Find a girl with a 9-5, even though the bartender likely makes more money because guys like you tip her so much. I kid, I kid
My girlfriend Samantha’s last boyfriend cheated on her and now that we’re dating she treats me like I’m the one who did. I haven’t, and I understand her reservations to trust again, but she acts insecure about stuff she shouldn’t. How do I get her to realize that all guys aren’t the same? Or is that even possible?
Llyod from Monroe
Well this is the blind leading the blind, because I do the same thing in relationships I’ve had since I discovered that my ex of 3 years not only had another girl, but a whole other life! My story was so traumatic it made the h0mepage of AOL as if it were national news: http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/03/06/my-boyfriend-was-living-a-double-life/
So that either makes me the worst person to give you advice, or the best …
I can empathize with your girlfriend at least, and more importantly, you! I personally thought I’d never be able to trust a man again … I became a facebook stalking, look over the shoulder at his phone while he’s texting, second guessing everything he says kinda girl. Now that’s a way to keep a man! (not). I even tried dating a socially awkward dork that lived with his mother because I knew he’d never step out on me, for the simple fact he couldn’t get another girl.
I’ll hand it to you, it’s hard dealing with a woman who’s been broken, but know it is not your responsibility to build her back up. It’s her own. All you can do is earn her trust through memories and constant reassurance. But don’t let it get to a point where it’s burdensome to you. She needs to mend her heart and get her big girl pants back on and saddle up to love again. Just support her as she does that by being a loyal man to her. That’s all you can do, and you are not expected or required to do more. You’re not Jesus.
Good luck breaking her heart guard and jumping over the wall she’s put up. It takes a real prince charming to do that.
Your Flash Girl “Abby”
While Jim and Mac are out I’ll be on with Brett Jensen trying to solve all the world’s problems. Well, men’s at least. Tune in! And you can e-mail ANY question to firstname.lastname@example.org
Oh, and when I was working for the show 3 Wide Life while at the Alabama Indy race, I got to do the asking of the questions to Sir Charles … turns out, he’s a huge NASCAR fan (he’s from Alabama so it’s in his DNA, he said) and he originally wanted to be a race car driver, but he couldn’t fit into the cars, so he went to basketball. Good play. Meanwhile, I could barely fit in this camera frame #shortgirlproblems