Dear Flash Girl,

If you were dating a guy, what is the most annoying thing he could do that you would put up with and stay with him?  I figured since my girlfriend was already naturally annoying, that I might as well return some of the love.  All in good fun of course. ~Santos 

Nothing about that sounds like a good idea, Santos.

You see, the thing is, your annoyance level has little to do with you, but more so with how we’re feeling. When we’re premenstaul, tired, hungry, or sick, just about everything you do can get on our nerves. So why and how is she getting on your nerves? Is she just being a woman?…because trust me, being one can sometimes be annoying in itself. You likely do little things that annoy her, but she just doesn’t pester you about them. Translation: she’s a keeper.

So don’t screw it up by trying to get on her nerves. You never want to be on a woman’s nerve, especially not by choice. If a guy gets on my nerves, I take that as a sign that I am not supposed to be with him and go find someone who affects my nerves in a more pleasurable way.

10-4, over and out

Brittney,

Need advice.  I’m 25 yrs old and don’t know what to do now… I used to be obese (I’m 5-8) and used to weigh over 230 lbs.  Last year I worked my ass off and got down to 177 lbs and I’m damn proud of it.  However, things haven’t gotten too much better in the female dept.  I expected that since I look so much better now, the quality of female attention would pick up.  For the most part, it hasn’t been the case.  I’m beginning to think I was a better person back then, so now I’m wondering if I went from “funny and chubby” to “average white bread sandwich” and don’t stand out now.  I don’t know what to do.  I finally look like how I’ve felt, but nothing’s changed.  Confused about how to move forward.  Any advice is appreciated.

~Matt (the original Matt, since most Matts I meet are younger than me)

Hey the original M-A-T-T,

First off, kudos and congrats for losing all that weight.

Now that you’ve built up your appeal, and more importantly your health, what you need to bulk up on is some confidence!

Maintain your health for your own benefit, not our attention. And think of yourself as “funny and skinny” now vs. just an average white bread sandwich. You’re a hero sub now Matt! Being self-depricating, like calling yourself old is all in good fun and shows your humbleness and sense of humor, but outright discrediting yourself merely shows a lack of confidence. And one thing a lot of women get wrong is their own source of that — confidence comes from within, not from without!

Because truth be told, a woman would rather date a fat and confident man over a muscular and insecure one.