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Sports

Monday Blues: My Crappy Football Saturday

By: Bruce Wilson
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LSU v Alabama

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Did my Saturday suck or what? Not only did every college football team I hate won and every team I like lost, but I’m getting tons of messages from Tarholes and State fans. There is nothing worse than trying to read through that garbage. Here is the Monday Blues recap:

-In the “Game of the Century” category: How about “Lame of the Century”? 5 field goals and no touchdowns? I really thought Alabama would win this one but LSU proved itself as the #1 team in the country. Alabama missing 4 field goals at home, “Are you serious bro?” . Put 3 of those missed kicks in regulation through the uprights and the Crimson Tide covers 15-6 and takes over the top ranking in the polls.

-In the “Cupcake of the Day” category: The Georgia Bulldogs beat up on a helpless New Mexico State team 63-16, scoring 42 points in the 2nd quarter alone. Eliminate the second quarter and they still win.

-In the “Snoozefest of the ACC” category: NC State beat UNC 13-0. Don’t worry, neither of these two teams will do anything exciting until the Tarholes start playing basketball, however listening to these two rivals talk trash to each other when they both suck is entertaining.

-In the “Oh No We Suck Again” category: Duke took their talents to South Beach and got crushed at the U 49-14. I honestly think if Miami had all of their 2012 recruits playing this game without any returning players they still would have won.

-In the “We Will Never Be Relevant Again” category: Tennessee beat some other small Tennessee school 24-0. UT can stay in the bottom of the SEC East with Florida.

-In the “Close But No Cigar” category: Wake Forest blew a last minute chance to score the game tying touchdown, losing at home to Notre Dame 24-17. I guess that would be Notre Dame testing the waters for their upcoming move to the ACC. Ok, so I’m just joking.

-In the “Pretender, Not Contender” category: The #9 South Carolina Gamecocks went to #7 Arkansas and flat out played like $#!^ Losing the game 44-28 combined with UGA’s win, put Georgia into 1st place in the SEC East. While the Bulldogs still have Auburn and Kentucky left, the Gamecocks have to beat Florida this coming Saturday to have any shot of a repeat trip to Atlanta. Not having Marcus Lattimore and Antonio Allen made a huge difference in this game. And just so you Tarheel fans will stop flooding my inbox with jokes about us, remember these two important facts:

  1. We’re still nationally ranked and you’re not.
  2. We scored 28 points on the road at #9 Arkansas and you were shut out by NC State.
  3. The girls at Chapel Hill like it when we say “Go Cocks”

One day when I grow up I want to be @Brett_Jensen but until then you can still follow me on Twitter: @BruceRWilson

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