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Brett Jensen/WFNZ.com

It’s a bright, sunny and perfect fall day here in Charlotte. Will this be the day that Armanti Edwards makes all Appalachian State fans say, “I told you he was going to be in the NFL Hall of Fame someday.”

Here we are in the first quarter and the Bears have scored on every possession. Matt Forte has four carries for 101 yards and two touchdowns early on. Through the first four games, he’d been averaging 33 yards a game.

Nice defense!

Meanwhile, our favorite Notre Dame son has fumbled a snap, thrown an interception to Julius Peppers (HAHAHAHAHAHA) and fumbled again while being sacked.

Also, this is the first time since 1999 that an NFL team has started a rookie QB and two rookie receivers. The last team to do it was Cleveland in 1999 with Tim Couch.

For those App. State fans, Armanti has played two plays thus far and Clausen has refused to look his way. Not surprising.

END OF THE FIRST QUARTER
CHICAGO 17, CAROLINA 3

Now that the end of the first quarter has come, it’s time to take a look at some hot women from Chicago.
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ARMANTI UPDATE
With less than six minutes to play in the first half, Armanti hasn’t seen the field in the second quarter. Meanwhile, the Panthers offense continues to be absolutely GARBAGE! Sorry, Colin, but facts are facts.

Armanti just lined up in the Mountaineer and lost six yards as he handed it off to David Gettis on an end-around. Second down, he looked to throw it, but had to scramble and got the six yards back, much to the delight of the crowd.

However, as usual the Panthers have to punt.

Now, I just don’t want to bang on the Panthers. Chicago QB Todd Collins has thrown three interceptions and looks like a 55-year-old man. He looks like Vinny Testaverde did in 2007. Seriously, the combined QB rating between Clausen and Collins might set an all-time low for an NFL game. I’m not kidding, either.

At the half, Collins has a QB Rating of 12.9, while Clausen has a QB Rating of 18.1 at halftime.

HALFTIME
CHICAGO 17, CAROLINA 3

The halftime show featured a mascots football game and there were more hits and excitement then in the real game. However, Ramses from UNC was ruled ineligible by the NCAA and his team later had to forfeit.

It’s official, the Panthers are by far the worst team in the NFL.

This game is so bad that Caleb Hanie is warming up on the sidelines for the Bears. In case you don’t know who he is, you’re not alone. Even so, he is now the one quarterbacking the Bears. Collins leaves with a 6.3 QB Rating.

END OF THE THIRD QUARTER
CHICAGO 17, CAROLINA 6

This game is almost over, and thankfully so. People often say that being a sports reporter may be the coolest job ever. And while I do love what I do, for every Final Four or Masters that I’ve covered, I’ve had to endure countless of crap games like today.

As fans, you can get up and drive home or turn the channel if you’re at home. However, I’m forced to sit here and be tortured with this garbage.

Clausen was booed after three straight horrible pass attempts. And that’s exactly what they were, attempts.

His QB Rating is a spectacular 29.7. In case you’re wondering, at the exact same moment in game time Jake Delhomme has a rating of 30.5 against Atlanta.

Matt Moore enters with 3:36 left to play and what’s left of the crowd cheers. He actually threw it to Armanti on his first attempt, but Edwards couldn’t stay in bounds with the catch.

The next play saw another pass to Armanti and the ball bounced off his hands and straight to linebacker Brian Urlacher. Do I really need to say something here?

Everybody, you can thank Jerry Richardson for this. If I actually had tickets to the Panthers, I wouldn’t spend one single dollar on this team as a fan. I wouldn’t show for a single game the rest of the year. He quit on this team and the fans, so there’s no reason to show up and buy concessions and souvenirs.

This team will be referred by me as the Carolina Pirates until Richardson shows he wants to win again.

The score is now 23-6 with just under two minutes left to play.

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